So many storms I have gathered into me.

Today I realized.

After I had put in my standard nine hour work day where I get treated like shit by not one, not two but all three of my bosses and have successfully played nanny to 27 middle aged men, constantly chasing them down and wiping their chins and doing all their work for them so it can be done properly.

After I nearly cried three seperate times at work due to the amount of absolute insane amount of responsibilities that just keep piling up that I never have enough time in the day to complete.

After I had to go and shell out yet another 75 dollars for my third drivers test, where I can honestly say I cant put a foot in that office without feeling like I am going to have anxiety attack due to the amount of stress and failure they have puroposely made me feel so the government can take more of my money. 

After I went to the gym where I had to spend an hour working my ass off literally so that I could stare in the mirror and still see areas of mass improvement after denying myself the food that I love, and mustering up the energy to work out and be healthy 3-5 times a week and still look in the mirror and not see the results I want to after a year of hard work.

After I spend yet another day worried about what I am supposed to do with my life. After I spend another day with what feels like the heaviest weight of all time sitting on my shoulders waiting for me to make a decision, never letting up because I still dont have any answers.

After I came home to walk my dogs, clean out their kennel, make a healthy dinner, tidy up around the house, rinse the dishes, wash my mothers bedsheets, have a shower, make my lunch for the next day, make sure all my bills are paid and catch up on some reading.

After all that, sometimes all I feel other than exhausted physically and mentally is that the feeling that for once I would like to be put first in someones life. That someone would choose to help me out, to spend some easy time with me watching a movie and laughing, to listen when I talk about my day. To do something nice for me without me having to ask. To say thank you when I once again put other peoples needs in front of my own. 

I realized I cant wait around for someone to put me first. I have to put me first. I have to do things that I love. I have to decide whats right for me. I have to make time for myself and let the other things go. I need to start putting me first.

Watching Doctor Whos - Lets Kill Hitler and dunking oreos into milk.

Example of a perfect single girl Sunday night.